In this section you will find information on where to get help if you are having relationship problems, including in situations where there is domestic violence involved. Below you will find a summary on what to do if you are having relationship problems and if you are contemplating divorce. If you would like more information, then click on the links located in the left-hand side of the page.

If you are having problems in your relationship, there is help available to try and prevent it breaking down. By acting early and seeking help, you and your partner may be able to save your relationship.

There are alternatives, such as counselling or mediation, that you could look at first. These services can help you to avoid splitting up, if that’s what you want. Or they can make the split, if it does come, less painful and damaging for you and your family.

A counsellor can help you discuss emotive issues and will help couples that want to save their marriage. Counsellors are professionally trained, though some offer their services voluntarily. They are trained to listen and to help you to work out your own solutions to relationship problems. They don’t negotiate for you or tell you what to do.

Family support is counselling that can help the whole family to deal with problems and prevent relationships breaking down and families splitting up.

Tackling problems early is important in order to save a relationship. The longer a problem is left unresolved, the harder it usually is to deal with it.

Counselling can also help a family to accept what is happening to them and to deal with the emotional stress that separation or divorce can cause within a family. Attempting to work things out through counselling or mediation could lead to better family decisions and long-term relationships after the divorce.

Mediation is different from counselling and it is more concerned with dealing with the practicalities of day to day life following relationship breakdown. It is more like negotiating an agreement and resolving a dispute without involving lawyers or the courts. You can ask a trained family mediator to act as an impartial third party; they will help couples come to an agreement without bias or being on anyone’s ‘side’. Public funding is available for those who qualify for legal aid. The funding is for mediation and for legal help, during and after mediation, for legal advice on any agreements reached.

The internet and your local telephone book will have a list of mediation services you could approach.

You can negotiate directly with your partner and reach agreement without any outside help about issues such as your children’s care and splitting property and finance. That is usually the best way. You may not be able to reach agreement on everything, but it can still help to make issues easier to resolve even if you go to court. Mediation can be used when you have decided to go ahead with a divorce or separation, by helping you to work out solutions between you in ways that reduce confrontation.